Archive Page 20
If I Was A Copywriter…
I love YouTube’s “Recommended For You” feature. If it wasn’t for that, I never would have found this 2-year old David Hasselhoff parody… Check out the “belly fold”! 
Man, YouTube really knows what I like. Cool yet creepy.
Every Friday, I will provide a weekly wrap-up then post a screenshot from a movie and I would like for you guys and gals to guess who the actor is and what movie it is from… Just post your answers in the comments section. The answers will be posted the following Friday.
Sorry for the lack of updates. There are some changes in my work routines and it’s been causing a bit of stress. One thing you can rely on is that I will have to post on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. And if you have emailed me with questions, please be patient and I will respond to you as soon as I can.
Blimey! Who is this woofy daddy bear?
Alex Karras and other football bears from Paper Lion showed up on Shirtless Saturday.
Of mythic archetypes and goonish looks: Mike Hallick as Mantaur & Bruiser Mastino shows up in Goonday Moonday.
In Two Woofy Tuesday (Beary Yummy Seconds), The Power Twins (David & Larry Sontag) showed up to display the infinite power of woof squared.
* * * * * * * * * *
As for the answers from last week’s TGIF:WWU…
Germanfurrybear was the first to spot the massive musclechub as Keith Loneker from Out Of Sight. And an excellent job to the other bear-eyed scouts out there who knew who he was!
I remember buying the DVD for Out Of Sight when it first came out and I was amazed at its crystal clear quality. It’s no HD, but it was definitely a big improvement from VHS tapes. I also loved the fact that I didn’t have to fast-forward to the “most important bear scenes.” I can just pop the disc in and jump instantly to such “money shots.”
How time flies. Now I have ripped this movie in a hard drive and I then just extract that very scene so that I could just double-click (or one-click, for you one-clickers) the video file then loop it to my heart’s content.
What does the future hold? Gizmodo had a link to this DeviantArt illustration by pyxelated, and it appears to be where we are heading. As anything else in life, moderation is key…
That’s me in the corner watching a looped scene of White Boy Bob.
Strange Days, indeed, are ahead of us…
My second poll was the popularity contest between pro-wrestlers, Shane Twins and Power Twins. The poll is still open and it’s currently at 149-18! I have to admit that I was a bit shocked to find that The Power Twins got such few votes. And to disclose who I would have voted for, it would have been The Power Twins, David and Larry Sontag. To me, they’re just far more bearish than the beefy and muscular Shane Twins. But, perhaps, one of the main reasons is because I had actually seen one of them before here in Las Vegas.
I have seen Larry before at a Walgreens pharmacy many years ago. He was picking up some medication (possibly pain pills) but I did not know who he was at the time. All I knew was that he was talking to the pharmacist and she was asking him about his profession. He then started talking about wrestling, his back pain, and how “it’s just a living.” I’ll never forget that. The second time I saw him was at a strip joint called Spearmint Rhino, also in Vegas. (Backstory: I had to hang out with the guys I work with so that it looked “normal” and that I was attracted to women.) Anyway, I wasn’t sure if it was David or Larry because it was too loud and I was mesmerized at him holding my drivers license. I dreaded being at that strip joint but I was glad for being treated by such a pleasant surprise. (Come to think of it, I spent about two hundred dollars for lap dances that I did not care for. Geez. All that work and lost money so that I appeared to be “just one of the guys. I should have just given the money to Mr. Sontag as even though I did not get a lap dance from him — which was for the better as he would have crushed my legs — being in the presence of such an intimidating bouncer was way too erotic for me.)
Anyways, I’m a ramblin’. But you may be wondering how I could differentiate the two. Basically, Larry has a deeper New Yorker voice while David has a lighter and pronounced Long Island accent. In Ocean’s Eleven David was the one with the longer spoken lines and you can hear his accent clearly when he spoke to George Clooney’s character.
Larry on the left, David on the right…
And, finally, here’s a 2-part pro-wrestling matchup between The Power Twins and Masked Confusion (originally known as WWF’s “The Killer Bees”)…
[Related Posts - Power Twins]
A few months ago, I posed one of life’s important questions: “What happened to pro-wrestlers like these?” In this case, pro-wrestlers of the bearish and massively goonish mold. I then posted a photo of Bruiser Mastino who was only wearing a very revealing singlet. Ever since then, I kept doing a “monthly google” for this massive musclechub. Well, what do you know? Not only did it lead me to finding a couple of his wrestling matches, it led me to a Bruiser Mastino who only wore something much better than a singlet: wrestling trunks!
However, before we get to the even better goonie good-stuff, here are some photos of the woofy Mr. Hallick as one of my favorites in the old WWF, Mantaur…
These “eating photos” are dedicated to my good friend, Sam…
He had introduced me to a fetish that I wasn’t aware of.
And as an important sidenote to this post, Mantaur was not the only big fella in the early and mid-1990′s. My other favorites were Typhoon/Tugboat (Fred Ottman) and PN News/Cannonball Grizzly (Paul Neu). I’ve had many nights where I would fantasize the three of them together as this crew of evil henchmen. Here are some visuals of the other two naughty bears… (Alright, alright, what about Earthquake, Yokozuna, Bastion Booger? They’re there, I just want to keep my number of top goons in threes…)
Typhoon (Fred Ottman)
Cannonball Grizzly (Paul Neu)
Unfortunately (for you and not me), with my BearBeat fetish, they always end up getting beat up and dominated by <enter generic and non-descript fantasy good guy(s)/gal(s) here>. Here’s a close approximation of my BearBeat fantasies (of course, there are no actual usage of dangerous objects in my PG-rated fantasies).
As a treat, a video was just uploaded a few hours ago between Bruiser Mastino and Cannonball Grizzly. According to the YouTuber, they were real life pals…
It’s interesting to note how Cannonball Grizzly started out more chubby then later on transformed into a musclechub, while Bruiser Mastino started out as being more husky (or as a blog reader once mentioned this term, “Huscular”) but have now also turned into a musclechub. And for the sake of this post, both massive men are definitely of the bullgoon make and model.
Finally, here’s the match that you’ve all been waiting for… It’s a squash match between Bruiser Mastino and El Puerto Riqueño from ECW Holiday Hell 1995. My jaws literally dropped when I saw this match. Unfortunately for me, he dominated the little man and it did not do my fetish any favors. But, hey, beggars cannot be choosers as we were all treated to a big goon wrestling around in just those sweet, sweet trunks. So I ask the question again: “What happened to pro-wrestlers like these?”…
[Related Posts - Bruiser Mastino]
SuperBowl frenzy is about one week away (go Cardinals!*) and I’ve been watching some classic American Football films recently. One of my favorites is Paper Lion. It’s probably one of the earliest “reality movie” I’ve seen as most of the athletes were not actors. It also gave a fascinating look at how football used to be like 40 years ago.
* Yes, I’m a bandwagoneer. I’m torn because Steelers’ Big Ben is pretty woofy. He just needs to bulk up a bit in my very shallow opinion.
And for this Shirtless Saturday, here are four of the beefy football bears from Paper Lion. Of course, my favorite in the bunch is definitely the sexy daddy bear, Alex Karras.
The next set are screenshots of Roger Shoals (who I thought was a younger Brian Dennehy at the time), Alex Karras, and John Gordy…
Well, I will have to abruptly stop here. I will post more screenshots of Roger Shoals, John Gordy, Roger Brown, and more of Alex Karras tomorrow.
I just want to sit back away from my monitor for a minute to realize that I have finally done my part on the internet and uploaded such screenshots of the wonderfully handsome Alex Karras being shirtless. You guys can pretty much imagine how I would keep searching high and low for such images… As far as video clips are concerned, I will eventually upload them to YouTube and update you guys here.
Every Friday, I will provide a weekly wrap-up then post a screenshot from a movie and I would like for you guys and gals to guess who the actor is and what movie it is from… Just post your answers in the comments section. The answers will be posted the following Friday.
An unknown woofy wrestler’s name has finally been unveiled: Andrew Anderson.
Goonday Moonday was borne and christened by the massive bullgoon, Gerard Benderoth.
In Two Woofy Tuesday (Beary Yummy Seconds), Manuel Martinez proved that he’s not second in the beefy looks department.
Kyle Gass was your winner in Woofy Winner Wednesday and for some reason I decided to post screenshots of his Walrus Boy character. I mean, srsly, wtf?
Kenan Thompson appeared shirtless in Wieners.
An unknown chubby bear tried to steal Kenan Thompson’s shirtless thunder in Wieners.
Find the specific Halls Candy commercial and the big musclebear bartender will reward you with “those things” in his hand in the video.
* * * * * * * * * *
As for the answers from last week’s TGIF:WWU…
Craig (via email) and Brett (via the comments) were the first to get the answers correctly: Leo Burmester from The Abyss. Also, great job to everyone else who had guessed it correctly as well.
The Abyss is definitely one of my favorite sci-fi films and something I would recommend to watch back-to-back with the original The Day The Earth Stood Still. Both have a great humanistic message that appeals to my somewhat hippie heart. And if you get a chance, watch the even longer “Special Edition” as it explores more of the characters in the film and reveals a better ending.
Anyway, here is the late Mr. Leo Burmester as Catfish De Vries…
Finally, try to guess why I posted these very specific screenshots… Dear Lord, my fetish p0wns me…
[Related Posts - Leo Burmester]
Back in the day, I would randomly channel surf the television while I had a blank VHS tape in my VCR. This VCR would then be on “Pause/Record” so that I could just hit “Pause” again with my remote control so that I could somewhat instantly record a “bearish” guy that shows up on the boob tube. One of the annoyances of said VCR is that it automatically un-paused itself if I did not hit “Pause” within 5 minutes or so. So, I’d be constantly hitting the freaking “Pause” button every 1 minute so that I won’t experience a “recording delay” common to VCRs. You might be asking, “Hey, Will, what is this recording delay“? Well, my DVR-spoiled brethren, there’s a margin of error of about 5 seconds before you truly began recording on a VCR. And since I was always searching and waiting for “money shots” of our bearish kin, those 5 seconds are utterly crucial.
“Crucial”? You might be laughing at such silliness, but take this precautionary tale to heart: I was enjoying an episode of DangerMouse on Nickelodeon when the VCR “timed out” and un-paused itself. Suddenly, without any warning, that Halls Candy commercial with the two hairy, large, and beefy Turkish bears in a bath and only wearing a towel showed up while my Cheetos-encrusted fingers could not find the remote control’s “Pause” button in time. And by the time I hit “Pause,” it was all too late. All I recorded was the final 4 seconds of the commercial where I could only see the Halls Candy. To this day, I’ve hunted for this commercial far and wide and I have been wholly unsuccessful. This Halls Commercial is my Moby Dick…
Well, back on topic, that’s just an extra back story for my blurry collage of that big black musclebear bartender wearing a white wifebeater in a 112 music video titled, Anywhere. There was a time in my life when I just watched music videos on MTV, VH-1, CMT, and BET. That above collage are screenshots from my BET music video watching days.
1:35 | 1:42 | 1:48 | 1:54 | 2:01 | 2:19 | 2:32 | 3:38
(exact times you see the bartender)… lol
So if there is anybody out there who knows where we can view this Halls Commercial, I will be deeply grateful and I will send you a reward. I’m not kidding. Trust me on this, it will be a fairly great reward…
Unknown Chubby Bear: “Wieners”
One of the contestants from the “Hot Bod Competition” in Wieners was this sexy chubby bear. I’m a bit annoyed at how he was portrayed; however, this seems like to be the only way we get to see such money shots — all six seconds of them.
Kenan Thompson: “Wieners”
I never really paid much attention to Kenan Thompson because of his “babyface” look. Anyway, when I willingly watched Wieners, I saw this chub in all his shirtless glory. I then quickly checked his IMDb bio to make sure that he’s truly passed puberty. I was definitely surprised to learn that I’m six years older than him.
Anyway, the following screenshots are of Kenan’s character getting oiled up with a stick of butter (lol) for a “Hot Bod Competition.” Before you guys get all excited, he was just getting primed up because one of his friends, Chuck‘s Zachary Levi, wimped out from the event. Needless to say, he got some sage advice from Walrus Boy so he returned and ruined our chances of seeing a shirtless and buttered Kenan Thompson dancing in the semi-nude.
Thankfully, the writers felt that the chubby fans were shortchanged with just the upper-half shots of Kenan’s shirtless scenes. So, they wrote in this next scene and I thank them for it… ^_^
Recent Comments